1
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,040
Look how good that is. Yeah!

2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,400
OK, who wants an arm wrestle?
I'm playing the winner!

3
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,000
Aah! Whoa!

4
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,080
OK, Dad, I'm filming.

5
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:16,880
Are you filming, Sam?

6
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,960
Yeah, you're shouting again!

7
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,920
Yeah, it's this flipping ear,
it's blocked! It's blocked still!

8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,240
Yeah.

9
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,240
Can you hurry up, please?

10
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,480
DRUMMING
Robin!

11
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,600
What? Ooh, no, hang on, I can hear -
I can hear that.

12
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,360
You can hear that? Yeah.

13
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,680
Agh, just get on with it, Dad.

14
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,560
Honestly! Ha, ha, ha!

15
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,760
OK, ahoy there, shipmates!

16
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,560
It's Captain Long John Paul Jessop
here aboard...

17
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,600
ROBIN LAUGHS
Now, then! Go on.

18
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,440
..my old boat. Oi.
From when I was a boy!

19
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,800
Yes, and today we're taking it upon
the seven seas for the first time

20
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,360
since, er, I want to say, um...
When was Babylon Zoo?

21
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,200
It doesn't matter,
can you hurry up, please?

22
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,960
I need to get home to set up
for the party, for the students.

23
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,440
All right, I'm just waiting for you
lot to embark.

24
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,040
To what? Embark.

25
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,600
What - what's embark again?

26
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,240
Come aboard, get on the boat, Mum.

27
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:06,680
Well, turn it on first,
see if it works.

28
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,040
Turn it on? Yeah. It's not a Hoover.

29
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,840
Start her up, I think you mean. OK.

30
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,640
And you can't wear heels on an
inflatable vessel I'm afraid, Cherry,

31
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,240
that's just asking for trouble.
In case it pops. Oh, my God.

32
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,960
I am absolutely pumped about this,
to be fair to me.

33
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,640
Start again, Paul.

34
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,080
OK, Amy? This is really fun,
isn't it?

35
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,560
No, it isn't, I don't want to go on.

36
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,280
I feel like...not James Bond,

37
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,880
but, you know, people who...
people who go on boats.

38
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,720
Oh, Paul, give it some welly!

39
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,640
Yeah, I'm giving it -
this is welly, Mum!

40
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,200
This is what welly looks like.
Shall I ask one of the men to help?

41
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,120
What do you mean?
I'm a man! I'm one of the men!

42
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,280
No. Yeah, but, like,
one of the proper boat guys? Yeah.

43
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,600
I'm a proper boat guy!
I'm a sailor man, mate.

44
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,600
And it's not me -
my technique's spot on,

45
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,120
it's just this, this pull cord's
really, really stiff.

46
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,720
Come on, girl.

47
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,280
Or I could have a go if you like?

48
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,440
THEY GASP

49
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,720
Oh, my God, Robin!

50
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,480
Man over board!

51
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,360
Robin!
PANICKED SHOUTING

52
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,160
Oh, it's not that deep, actually.
I'm OK.

53
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:06,720
PAUL GROANS
What's going on?

54
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:07,960
Dad's hogging the toilet.

55
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,560
Er, I'm not hogging the toilet, Amy,

56
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,440
I'm trying to clean this
flipping earwax out -

57
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,520
I think it's compacted.

58
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,200
Well, yeah, of course it is, you
keep prodding it with cotton buds,

59
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,680
what did you think it
was going to do?

60
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,400
I just thought that
if I probed the left ear

61
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,720
then the wax would eventually...
Come out the right one?

62
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,800
Oh, yeah, ha, ha, mate. Ha, ha.

63
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,240
Can you not film me while I'm
in the bathroom please, Sam?

64
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,480
Why? Because of the nightie?

65
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:32,040
No, because the bathroom is meant
to be a sanctuary, a safe space,

66
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,040
not part of your documentary,
thank you.

67
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,640
Why are you wearing a nightie,
in fact?

68
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,280
It's not a nightie,
it's a long T-shirt.

69
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,640
What's going on? I need the loo.

70
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:39,680
Well, go on, then.

71
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,080
No, I mean...properly.

72
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,440
Urgh. Gross! Great, Mum,
thanks for telling us that.

73
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,480
Well, he made me -
can you hurry up, please, Paul?

74
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,280
Yeah, I'm just getting my earwax
out, babe.

75
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,840
Oh, God, not this again.
Why are you so waxy?

76
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:54,920
I am not "so" waxy, I just happen
to have a high functioning gland

77
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,880
and a narrow ear canal.

78
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,640
It's a bad design, frankly.

79
00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,960
What? The ear?

80
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,520
Yes, the ear. Ugh.

81
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,160
I need to unclog, pronto.

82
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,480
If I can't hear properly

83
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,560
then the police won't let me
on the training course

84
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,920
and my medical's in four weeks.

85
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,960
Yeah, well, I've got my lecture
in 25 minutes -

86
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,720
and you're dropping me off! Yeah.

87
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,480
Hello? Morning all!

88
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,400
Morning, Mum. Oh, hi.

89
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,480
Why has she got keys?

90
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,320
Did you get her keys?

91
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,400
I've brought crossed buns!

92
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,880
Have you got your own keys, Mum?

93
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,120
Why have you got your own keys?

94
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,520
I got some cut.

95
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,160
Um, sorry what do you mean
crossed buns?

96
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,360
Do you mean hot crossed buns?

97
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,000
No, these are cold.

98
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,120
Oh...

99
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,840
Now, then, Sammy, I thought
you were stopping doing your videos

100
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,000
to concentrate on your GCSEs.

101
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:44,760
Oh, yeah, no, I am.
I will, Granny, you know, soon.

102
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,920
How did you cut your own key, Sue?

103
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,480
Did you take a set from the house
without us knowing?

104
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,440
Oh, don't put it like that, Rachel,
that makes it sound really sneaky.

105
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,360
Well, it is really sneaky!

106
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,680
Oh! Huh? Oh, Paul!

107
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,240
Oh, put some undies on
for goodness' sake.

108
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,440
Oh, Mum! For God...! Oh!

109
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,200
Oh, no! But I've seen it all before.

110
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,080
Yeah, not recently, you haven't.
God.

111
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,680
Well, you've not changed much,
really. Well, that's not true.

112
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,120
That's not true.

113
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,920
And - and the law has changed,
that's actually upskirting.

114
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:19,000
As per the voyeurism offences
act of 2019 it is a major crime.

115
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,560
Oh, here we go, spot the copper.

116
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:21,600
Well...

117
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,240
Well, it's your fault
for wearing a nightie.

118
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,760
Yeah, exactly. It's not a nightie,
it's a long T-shirt!

119
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,200
That is a nightie,
that's what a nightie is.

120
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:33,000
Find some pyjamas if you need to
wear something in bed.

121
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,960
I'm not wearing pyjamas
like some kind of...

122
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,280
..banana.

123
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,120
Well, you need to cover your banana

124
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,000
if you're going to stand
on the staircase.

125
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,320
Oh, my God. Knock, knock! Robin.
Morning all.

126
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,840
Aww. All right? Hey.
All right, Spielberg?

127
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,280
Hey, Susan, come on,
give us a squeeze.

128
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:53,400
Hiya, Robin. Now, then,
can I tempt you with a crossed bun?

129
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,880
Urgh, yuck, don't like 'em.

130
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,160
Just a cup of tea would be ideal,
thank you.

131
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,880
We're not staying for long. No.

132
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,520
Just need to use the printer,
if poss,

133
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,240
print out Cherry's divorce papers.
Yeah.

134
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,680
Oh, OK. Well, quickly, then.

135
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,600
Divorce? I thought you
divorced Ian yonks ago, Cheryl.

136
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,880
Mm. Well, I have been
trying to, so...

137
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,600
..but he keeps refusing to sign
the divorce papers

138
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,760
because he still loves me so much.
Selfish git. Oh, dear.

139
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,000
Oh, he'll sign. I'll make him sign.

140
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,880
I'm going to talk to the guy next
week, mano a mano.

141
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,600
Yeah, and I'm going to come, an'
all.

142
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,760
Yeah... Well, no, hang on, if you're
there it's not mano a mano is it?

143
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,520
Then it's mano a mano a womano.

144
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,040
Er, "mano" means hand in Italian.

145
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,240
Oh... So... Er, just email me
the document I'll get it...

146
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,560
I like the old, er...
What do you call them? Yeah, well...

147
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,600
Hairy horns?
MIMICS CLOWN HORN

148
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,000
Space buns. Yeah. They were quite
trendy last year. Right.

149
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,080
And this year, no?

150
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,640
She's trying to blend in with
the other freshers on her course.

151
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,440
Mm. What? Are you still called a
fresher, Rachel, at your age? Yeah.

152
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,160
I love that. Oh, ha, ha, thank you,
thank you for that, Sue, yeah.

153
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,880
You know, ideologically, we're all
pretty much the same, so...

154
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,840
Er, you're the weirdo
older student, Mum,

155
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:58,720
you're not going to become
friends with them

156
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,520
just because you put your hair in
a bun. It's two buns. And I might.

157
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,880
Right. You won't. Hello.
You all right? Yeah, good, you?

158
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,000
Right, well I'm going to get the
buns out! Ooh, er, missus.

159
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,760
Amy, I haven't seen you
since you got back.

160
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,640
Farvel. What?

161
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,680
Farvel. Is it farvel?
Robin said it was farvel.

162
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,000
Is it not? What's this farvel?

163
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,120
It's hello in Danish, no?

164
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,360
Yeah. I was in Norway.

165
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,760
You... Oh, sorry, yes, Norge.
Yeah. Mm.

166
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,320
Same sort of thing, innit?
A lot of white people on bikes.

167
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,320
Um... Happy to be home, are ya?

168
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,600
Nope, unhappy to be home.

169
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,000
Aww. I want to go back
as soon as possible.

170
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,800
Oh, come on, Amy, that's not true.

171
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,240
Yeah - and in the meantime she's
been trying to turn the place into Oslo,

172
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,240
hence all the scatter cushions
and trolls everywhere, urgh.

173
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,320
Um, I'm trying to make the place
more hygge, yeah.

174
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,240
Oh, here we go. What? More what?

175
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,560
Hygge. It's Norwegian for cosy.

176
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,000
Um, it's way more nuanced than
that. Mm-hm.

177
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,520
She'll be putting an oil rig
in the garden next.

178
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,760
Yeah - and charging us £40
for a beer. Yeah!

179
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,360
Oh, ha, ha, funny.

180
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,840
I mean, what's Norway got that you
can't find here, for goodness' sake?

181
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,640
My friend Kare took me
out on his boat on the fjords.

182
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,640
So? OK, but come on, there's
loads of great things here, Amy...

183
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,600
Yeah! ..in the UK, you know
there's, there's...

184
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,160
Er... Um...

185
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,440
Norwich Castle's reopening. Yeah.

186
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:13,680
New series of I'm A Celeb!

187
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,280
And I - I've sold my house.

188
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,520
Er, Carabao Cup Final.

189
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,760
Er, Maya will be back from
university soon, so... Yeah.

190
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,160
You sold your house?
I thought it was only under offer?

191
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,040
Exchanged contracts on Thursday.

192
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,320
Hey! Oh! That's good, innit?

193
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,520
Why is that something for Amy
to look forward to?

194
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,440
Well, you can all come
and help yourself to my gubbins.

195
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,120
Gubbins, what do you mean, gubbins?

196
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,960
Well, I've got to clear
everything out. Really?

197
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,040
Oh, you'll love it, Amy,
a lot of it is very higgledy.

198
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,440
- Hygge.
- Uh-huh, yeah. Like what?

199
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,800
I've got doilies coming
out of my drawers.

200
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,640
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

201
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,760
You meant...
Sorry, I thought you meant knickers.

202
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,360
Robin. You've got doilies.
You've got doilies, Sue. I'm sorry.

203
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,880
I've got doilies, cushions,
more gnomes.

204
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,280
Oh, no, not gnomes,
the gnomes you can chuck.

205
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,440
One of them
looks exactly like Paul, actually!

206
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,880
Oh does it?
No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.

207
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,600
So, where are you moving to,
then, Granny?

208
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,440
I want to buy a flat
but I can't find anywhere I like

209
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,560
so I think I'll just have to rent
somewhere for the time being.

210
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,080
You should move in here, Granny.

211
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,280
Ha, ha! Well, no, no.

212
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,000
No, that would be impractical,
I fear,

213
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,000
it takes us
a month to use the bathroom,

214
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,280
er, in the morning as it is,
do you know what I mean?

215
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,160
Yeah, well I-I don't want to
get in the way.

216
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,920
Um, tea for you, Rachel?

217
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,040
Er, no, I'm all right, thanks, Sue,
I've got to go -

218
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,520
um, as do you all, actually,
no offence.

219
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,240
We've all got to go, sorry.
OK, um...

220
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,560
There's your divorce papers.

221
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,800
Thanks. Have you got
a takeaway cup for the tea?

222
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,280
No, because this isn't Starbucks.
OK, hang on, then.

223
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,480
He's downing it. Mate, don't...

224
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,320
No, don't down it, you bell.

225
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,880
"Farvel" means goodbye, by the way.

226
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,320
Ah, OK. Oh, God.

227
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,720
- Well, farvel!
- It's boiling hot. Argh!

228
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,280
We can try again tomorrow, so...
Mm, well, maybe, yeah.

229
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,040
Why are you going this way?

230
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,680
Oh, I need to go to the chandler's.

231
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,160
The what? He means the boat shop.
No.

232
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,800
Yeah, I need to get
a new pull cord... No.

233
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,520
..and we need some engine oil, so...
No, I need - I need to get home.

234
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,800
Oh, and we should get some
olive oil for your ear, Paul.

235
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,800
Well, they won't sell
that at the chandler's.

236
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,600
Olive oil?
What are you talking about?

237
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:15,560
If you pour olive oil in your ear
it'll get rid of the wax.

238
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,840
Yeah, great idea, Mum!

239
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,560
Maybe if I squirt some
mayonnaise up my bum

240
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,240
it'll sort out my constipation.
Urgh. Ugh, Dad.

241
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,440
Well, putting less of it
in your mouth might help, yes.

242
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,040
And - and we've got
olive oil at home.

243
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,160
Yes, but we don't have engine oil,

244
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,000
so we do need to go to the
chandler's.

245
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,840
Also I need to buy a buoy.
What? What do you mean?

246
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,600
Like a...a cabin boy? No! What?!

247
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,240
No, it's like a bouncy, floaty thing

248
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,920
that protects the boat.
PHONE VIBRATES

249
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,680
I'm not trying to buy a male child,
Mum.

250
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,200
It's inflatable,
the whole boat is basically a buoy,

251
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,680
we do not need to go
to the boat shop.

252
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,280
Oh, for God's sake... Chandler's.

253
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,720
Aww... What is it? Another one
of the students drop out?

254
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,680
No, it-it's this party, they just
keep leaving the WhatsApp group,

255
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,840
they don't even say they can't come,
they just leave.

256
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,400
I mean, should I add them again?
They might've left by mistake.

257
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,560
No. Definitely not,
that's really lame.

258
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,440
I'm going to write good riddance.

259
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,520
No, don't do anything,

260
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,000
you'll just scare off
the stragglers still on there.

261
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,040
INDICATOR TICKS

262
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,480
No, no, I said - we're, we're not
going to the boat shop, Paul.

263
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,800
It's the chandler's! No! No!
I need a new pull cord... No!

264
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,760
..and it's the chandler's.
We've got to go home!

265
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,720
Rachel, please! Please!
Why are you doing this?

266
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:17,800
Oh, my God. Why? Why now?!

267
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,080
I'm just going to get a pull cord
and a little buoy. God!

268
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,880
Oh, my God!

269
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,560
The likeness is uncanny.

270
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,240
No, it isn't, it just has a beard.

271
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,800
It looks exactly like you, Dad!

272
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,720
Why are you laughing, Mum?
You married him.

273
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,240
Yeah, no, fair point.

274
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,400
Huh? Hey, hold that, Paul. What?

275
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,720
Oh, no, stop it, stop it!

276
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,880
Right, give me that,
I'm taking it to the skip.

277
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,320
Oh, no, don't, I want to keep that.

278
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,920
Agh, ngh...

279
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,080
Oh, gosh, are you OK?

280
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,640
No, my ear's blocked again.

281
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,920
Agh, am I clicking,
am I clicking guys?

282
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,560
Oh, wicked, is that a Super 8?

283
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,960
Oh, no, it's a camera,
that's your grandad's old cine one.

284
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,960
Can I have it?
Give me that, Paul, I'll take that.

285
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,200
Granny, can I have the camera?

286
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,720
Anything you like the look of?

287
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,440
Yeah, of course. For your room?

288
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,800
Nope.

289
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,480
We could, er, redecorate,
if you like?

290
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,440
Oh, what, you think a Toby jug
and a horse brass

291
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,160
is going to make me
not want to go back to Norway?

292
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,680
No, that's not what I'm saying, Amy,

293
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,000
I'm just asking you to be a bit more
positive, if you can,

294
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,080
about being back - you know,
I know Norway was great

295
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,520
and it'll take time to adjust,
but...

296
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,440
Oh, there's a foot spa,
that might help!

297
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,560
I'm having the foot spa! No, I was
going to give it to... Oh, my God!

298
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,880
Look who I found!

299
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,200
Oi-oi. Oh, no! Oh, my God, Robin,
you've got a black eye!

300
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,720
Yeah. I have, I know I have, yeah.
Oh! Yeah.

301
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,960
Yeah, Ian did it
in their mano a mano.

302
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,560
Oh, no. Oh, Robin!

303
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,440
Well, I hope you smacked him back!

304
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,480
Oh, grow up! "Smacked him back!"

305
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:40,880
Yeah, did you smack him back?

306
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,080
I didn't, no, I didn't want to
stoop to his level, so...

307
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,240
Ian's quite stacked.
Yeah, but that's not why, babe,

308
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,920
I could've hit him, I could've
probably killed him, if I wanted to.

309
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,040
- Really?
- But...yeah. Just a bit, just...

310
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,000
..job done. But, no,
it's better this way,

311
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,560
with him as the sole aggressor

312
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,440
because, er, now he has to agree
to the divorce

313
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,440
in exchange for me
not pressing charges. Oh...

314
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,440
Yeah, it's actually worked out well.
Yeah. Apart from his minging eye.

315
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,640
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

316
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,040
So, how's this house clearance
thing work then, Sue?

317
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,560
We can just take anything, can we?

318
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,920
Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

319
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,400
Yeah, not that, though,
that's my handbag.

320
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,800
Yeah, I didn't want it anyway.
OK, great.

321
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,680
And if you could help me chuck these
armchairs in the skip that'd be fab.

322
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,280
Oh, no,
you're not getting rid

323
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,720
of the old armchairs are you, Mum?!

324
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,480
You're shouting again, Dad. Huh?

325
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:25,680
Oh, wow, Sue, you've got one of
the old deep pan TVs, love it.

326
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,680
Oh, and tapes, look!

327
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,960
Here, Rach, you should show
these to your students,

328
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,520
these are well in right now. Yeah.

329
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,560
What? Tapes? Are they? Yeah. Yeah?

330
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,400
I mean, everything goes in cycles,
don't it?

331
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,920
Tapes, crop tops, Sugababes -
it's basically the '90s again.

332
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,120
Um, I'm not sure Simply Red
specifically are back,

333
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,280
but, yeah, by all means, put it on
when they come over. Oh, OK.

334
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,320
What's this, what's this?
The students are coming over, is it?

335
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,800
House party! Mm, sort of.

336
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,640
Actually, Dean and Jelson are
aggressively single at the moment...

337
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,320
No. ..if you want some blokes to
just, you know... Absolutely not.

338
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,680
Babe. ..get things going, you know?
No, I don't want that.

339
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,560
It's not really that sort of
evening, anyway,

340
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,960
we're just going to eat moussaka
and chill. What?!

341
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,800
What? Moussaka?

342
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,080
Students don't want to
eat moussaka, Rach.

343
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,320
Why not? Is that not a...?
What's wrong with moussaka?

344
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,480
Aubergines.

345
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,520
The moussaka thing is a bit shit,
to be fair, Mum.

346
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,760
Well, OK - and I was going to bake
a lemon drizzle. Oh, my God, no.

347
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,680
Rach, Rach, it sounds -
no offence - lemon jizzle.

348
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,600
You need to do a drinking game
or something,

349
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,840
you know, to break the ice a bit.
Mm?

350
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,040
What's this rubber thing in here?
Oh, that's the old boat.

351
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,240
What? That wants skipping,
as well, Paul.

352
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,600
Hey, what the...?

353
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,400
We're not chucking out the boat!
The boat?!

354
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,720
Er, boat? What boat?

355
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,000
You've got a boat?

356
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,680
Yeah, I've got a boat.
Big time. My old boat. OK.

357
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,000
Me and Daddy used to have some
great times in that baby.

358
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,680
Daddy?
Doing what? Fishing?

359
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,160
Huh? No, no, pootling.

360
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,160
Yeah, razzing around the marina.

361
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,320
Yeah, it's a
serious bit of kit that, Sam.

362
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,920
It's a blow up dinghy, innit?

363
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,440
Er, no, it is a rigid
inflatable boat, thank you.

364
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,480
She is not a dinghy.

365
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,600
There's an engine round here
somewhere, should be.

366
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,080
Oh, we should -
we should take it out.

367
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,800
Well, hang on a sec
because we've got to...

368
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,200
Yeah, Amy might like it, you know,

369
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,000
it might stop her
going on about the fjords.

370
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,400
Oh, I doubt it's still seaworthy,
Rachel.

371
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,680
Oh, she's still seaworthy, all
right!

372
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,040
It's not even bin worthy,
it's covered in mould! It's stinky.

373
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,280
Oh, that'll scrape off a treat,
don't worry about that!

374
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,560
You're shouting again, Dad! Huh?

375
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,840
Oh... Stinky boat. Huh?

376
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,880
Have you got the new pull
cord working?

377
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,240
Huh?

378
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,800
OK, forget it.

379
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,200
What was that, Sam?

380
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:26,080
Right, come on, Paul!
Let's do your ear.

381
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,240
I can't hear you, Mum!

382
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,680
OK, I'm off out.

383
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,120
What? But my - my student friends
are coming over.

384
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,080
Yeah, I know, that's why I'm going.

385
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,200
No, but I need you here to,
come on, you know...

386
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,280
Make you seem less old?

387
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,200
I mean, pretty much.

388
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,680
And - and I thought you might
enjoy it, as well,

389
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:45,960
meeting people your own age.

390
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,880
Who'll want to know
why I'm still living at home

391
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,520
and doing nothing with my life.
Yeah, I wouldn't enjoy that, Mum.

392
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,120
Well, I mean,
where are you even going?

393
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,840
They're screening a Norwegian film
at the Everyman in Birmingham.

394
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,520
Oh, my God, you have to stop being
so obsessed with Norway, please,

395
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,280
this is not healthy.

396
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,320
Says the person
about to drink a litre of vodka.

397
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,080
I mean, that's just to break
the ice, ignore that.

398
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,160
What's the film?

399
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,760
Um, it's a documentary
about children

400
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,440
suffering from seasonal affective
disorder in northern Norway.

401
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,320
Great, well, that'll cheer you up.

402
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,760
Hang on, Birmingham?
You're going to Birmingham?

403
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,400
Yeah, so I need to leave now.

404
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,040
Well, oh...

405
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,120
How does that feel, Paul?

406
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,720
Huh?

407
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,600
Is it going in?

408
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,960
I can't hear you, Mum,
there's oil in my ear!

409
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,040
Ugh.

410
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,760
Er, are you two planning
to be here all evening?

411
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,840
Huh?

412
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,520
I mean it's honestly like
an old people's home in here.

413
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,720
Well, do your party
in the lounge, then!

414
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,760
Well, no, I would,

415
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,120
but there's a four horsepower
boat engine in there!

416
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,960
Paul! Yes?!

417
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,560
Er, a cup of tea please, babe!

418
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,880
No, I didn't...

419
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,200
Why have you got
a funnel in your ear?

420
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,640
Huh?

421
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,520
Oh, Mum was using it to pour olive
oil in -

422
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,040
but it actually helps me
hear a bit better.

423
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,080
Oh, my God.

424
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,760
Oh, like an ear trumpet?

425
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,720
DOORBELL RINGS
It's kind of like an ear trumpet!

426
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,120
Aww... That's what I said.

427
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,520
Huh? Oh, God, I mean, this is great,
this is exactly the image of my life

428
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,280
I wanted to present
to my course mates.

429
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,080
DOORBELL RINGS
The phone's ringing, Rach!

430
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,120
No, that's the doorbell!

431
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,080
Huh? Doorbell! Ah...

432
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,320
OK.

433
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,400
Oh, God.

434
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,600
Hey! Hi.

435
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,640
How's it goin'?

436
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,320
I, er, come in! Thank you.
Thank you.

437
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,360
Thank you.

438
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,400
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
Um... Yeah.

439
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,200
Is anyone else coming, or...?

440
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,280
Um, I hope so!

441
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,400
No, probably not, sorry.

442
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,800
Er, people can be...people your age,
very cruel on WhatsApp, can't they?

443
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:42,920
So... Hello.

444
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,640
Yeah. No, ignore him, that's...

445
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,640
Please don't film them, Sam,
they're our guests, sorry.

446
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,560
I brought this.

447
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,840
Great.

448
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,920
That's so kind.

449
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,120
Thank you.

450
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,160
Come this way.

451
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:05,280
Yeah, no, I was going to just
put on a tape. Um... Love tapes.

452
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,080
Yeah... Hello, there!

453
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,840
Do you like tapes? Hello?

454
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,480
Hi! Huh?

455
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,800
No, er, don't go in that room!

456
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,920
Oh, er... No! Hi.

457
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,560
I'm Sue.

458
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,000
I'll get me trumpet.

459
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,000
Oh, yes, God, yeah, this is Sue
and this is Paul,

460
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,720
er, these are my course mates...

461
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,000
I realise I actually
don't even know your names.

462
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,560
Oh, er, er, Fara.

463
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:26,960
And Xiaoming. Xiaoming.

464
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,120
Huh?

465
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,640
Lovely to meet you.

466
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,720
Paul Jessop.

467
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,280
Do you live with your parents?

468
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,520
Er...

469
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,760
Yeah. Yeah, I do.

470
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,480
It is a bit of a drag,

471
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,800
but it does save a lot of money,
so it's, you know...

472
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,920
I'm a former Olympic archer!

473
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,920
It's... God, yeah.

474
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,440
Right.

475
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,560
My Dad.

476
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,520
You know, maybe we should...

477
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,520
I-I feel like I want to...leave.

478
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,720
No. No, no, no, no, no!

479
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,760
Don't, don't be silly,
no, it's going to be great,

480
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,800
just need to relax a bit

481
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,680
and I actually planned
a drinking game for us.

482
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,880
Oh, I don't really drink, but...
No, just a little one,

483
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,800
just an ice breaker, you know,

484
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,160
um, get some atmos going,
loosen you up a bit!

485
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,640
Is that...? Do I need that?

486
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,080
Loosen up all of us.

487
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,720
So, it's the same rules as Play Your
Cards Right, so, very simple.

488
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,160
What's that? What's...?

489
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,840
Well, yeah, no, fair point,

490
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,520
you're probably, um,
too young to know that.

491
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,680
Well, it's, um -
it was a Bruce Forsyth show.

492
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,160
Er, who?

493
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,840
Brucie.

494
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,000
Brucie, come on.

495
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,760
I mean, you must've
seen Brucie growing up.

496
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,160
I grew up in Chengdu.

497
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:46,120
Even so, he was...he was this guy,
he used to do this.

498
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,560
Why?

499
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:54,080
I don't... I have no idea,
he just did that - that...

500
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,400
The point is, that doesn't matter.

501
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,520
I play a card and you have to say
if the next one is higher or lower

502
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,000
and if you get it wrong you have
to drink half the glass

503
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,920
and if you get a blackjack or an ace
you have to drink the whole glass

504
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,920
and if it's a seven
it changes direction, got it?

505
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,960
Er, I didn't understand
this thing about Brucie.

506
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,400
Forget that, that's not relevant.

507
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,160
Er, and I'm not sure
I really want to play.

508
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,320
No, you will want to play
once you play,

509
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,800
because it's going to be great, OK?

510
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,880
Stars by Simply Red
And...turn a card.

511
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,280
Eight, OK, so I'm going to go lower.

512
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,200
Ah, it's ten, so that means
I've got to drink half of that.

513
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,520
Gosh, that's...that is a lot
stronger than I thought.

514
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,280
It's nice, um,
but it's got quite a kick.

515
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,400
It's really strong.

516
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,520
Good, but strong. Great.

517
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,560
OK, so, your go, Xiaoming -
higher or lower?

518
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,600
Lower.

519
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,640
Lower.

520
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,520
Seven! It is lower, and seven
means it goes back to me,

521
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,960
so it's my turn again.
Er, I'm going to go...

522
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,040
Yeah, I'm going to go lower
than a seven.

523
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,320
Oh, my goodness,

524
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,640
OK, so, it's a queen, which means
I'm going to drink the rest of it.

525
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,640
I'm getting a bit of a head start,
aren't I?!

526
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,280
Agh.

527
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,600
So,
what's your name again?

528
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,480
Er, Fara. Faro, Faro...

529
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,160
Fara, are you going to go higher
or lower than a queen?

530
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,200
Lower.

531
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,120
Lower, that's a good guess.

532
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,640
You're right, it's a good...
and, Xiaoming, higher or lower?

533
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:26,760
Er, higher.

534
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,640
Higher. I'd go higher.

535
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,000
You are higher, it is higher.

536
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,080
I'm going to go lower than a king.

537
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,480
Oh come on, it's a blackjack!

538
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,240
It's a blackjack!

539
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,160
That means I'm going to have to
drink the whole thing, so...

540
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,680
Uh-oh.

541
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,240
Because that was punishment,

542
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,640
it's my go again. I'm going to go...

543
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,240
..lower.

544
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,320
Oh...

545
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,520
You all right?

546
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,600
Sorry.

547
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,640
It's all good.

548
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,840
It's really nice.

549
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,920
PAUL SNORES

550
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,200
OK, I'm going to go
lower than an ace.

551
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,240
Oh, God, thank God.

552
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:16,520
Xiaoming?

553
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,400
Higher. Higher? Higher?

554
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,840
It is higher and it's a seven
so it's back to me.

555
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,120
I'm going to go lower than a seven.

556
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,960
OK...

557
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,360
Cool.

558
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,400
Is... Is she doing this on purpose?

559
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,120
Yeah, Mum, probably don't
have that one.

560
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,480
This is really fun,
isn't it really fun?

561
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,360
Rach?
SHE GROANS

562
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,440
Rach? Mm?

563
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,760
I brought you some water,
Rachel, love.

564
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,960
What happened?

565
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,280
You fell asleep and were sick.

566
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,360
Oh...

567
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,320
Oh...

568
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,200
Are they still here?

569
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,440
No, they went a while ago.

570
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,240
Mm.

571
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,720
When you didn't come back
from the loo

572
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,880
we ended up showing Xiaoming a load
of Bruce Forsyth videos on YouTube.

573
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,680
Mm.

574
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,720
Well, I guess I'll definitely be
the weird old student now.

575
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,400
With good reason, to be fair.
Yeah.

576
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,480
Right, come on, let's get you to
bed.

577
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,000
Ooh, ooh, hang on.
Oh, oh, God, what's that?

578
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,320
Oh...! No, what is it?

579
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,600
That's my earwax!
Oh, oh, my God! Oh!

580
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,800
Oh, my God! Oh, my God,
oh, my God, that's disgusting.

581
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,880
Oh, my God. Wow! Oh, Sam,
get it off me, get it off me!

582
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,400
I'm-I'm not touching it. Oh, God!

583
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:44,760
I can hear everything.

584
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,800
I'm like Superman. Oh! Urgh.

585
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,000
Or - or normal man,
a policeman, anyway!

586
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,240
I told you the olive oil would work,
didn't I?

587
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,360
Yeah! Oh, Mum, thanks so much.
Oh, my God, oh, my God!

588
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,840
I don't know what I'd do
without you.

589
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,480
Oh, it's all smeared,
it's disgusting!

590
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,560
Oh, come on, jeez Louise.

591
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,800
And it's... Oh, my God.

592
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,800
Overreacting much?
It's just human wax. Urgh.

593
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,880
Now, make sure that your ear is dry
for at least a couple of days,

594
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,120
because otherwise it will get all
blocked up again.

595
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,120
Yeah, yeah.
What's all the shouting about?

596
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,920
My earwax came out!

597
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,320
And Mum was sick.

598
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,640
{\an8}Amy, hi.

599
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,760
{\an8}Hi. Hiya.

600
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,880
{\an8}How was the Norwegian film?

601
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,920
{\an8}No idea, the train to Birmingham
was cancelled so I missed it.

602
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,720
This country's honestly shit.

603
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,840
Whoa.

604
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,000
No, it's - it's not, Amy. It's not.

605
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,560
You know, Paul's fixed
the boat. Yeah. Haven't you, Paul?

606
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,560
Yeah, she's all ship shape,
ready to try again tomorrow,

607
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,240
so that'll be...

608
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,600
..good, right? Good.

609
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,400
Hey? Look at that!

610
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,440
Oh, you smeared it in,
I wanted to keep that!

611
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:42,960
What you doing, Sam?

612
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,040
Just trying out that old camera.

613
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,320
You OK? Yeah, no, I'm fine.

614
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,480
Right, look out.

615
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,600
Yeah, thanks, Cheryl, love.
All right, OK...

616
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,960
Careful, Robin. OK, then.
Okey dokey.

617
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,680
Excellent, OK, take two -
now that I've fitted a new pull cord

618
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,360
it should be a lot looser
than yesterday,

619
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,200
but please don't sit too close
to the tiller,

620
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,080
I don't want to give anyone
another black eye.

621
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,000
Well, I've got nothing left
to give, by the way!

622
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,880
I'm so sorry about that again,
Robin. Ah...

623
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,400
No, don't be, his face definitely
looks way more even now.

624
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,560
It does, it does.
Please can we stop it from rocking?

625
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,720
Yeah, we do need to sort out
the weight distribution.

626
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,800
Cherry, if you move... You what?

627
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,600
What are you trying to say?

628
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,040
No, I didn't...

629
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,840
OK, Mum, if you could...

630
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,640
What?! I've been on a diet,
thank you!

631
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,680
No, it's not like - it's not about
that, it could be anyone, oh, my God!

632
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,920
I'll get off, I don't like boats
anyway. Thank you, Sam.

633
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,320
OK, cheers, go on, off you go.
Bye.

634
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,960
All right, but don't - soft step,
Sam, all right don't clomp, Sam!

635
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,160
Oh, Sam! Don't rock it, Sam.
You're not helping, mate.

636
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,520
Look, Chez,
you come over here with me, look.

637
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,560
Amy, get over there next to Sue. OK?

638
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,000
All right, it will level out once
we get some knots up, OK?

639
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,600
OK. Oh, God, please can we just
keep it level? All right, OK.

640
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,040
Are you a bit hungover then, Rachel?

641
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,080
No, no, actually,
I'm just a bit seasick.

642
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,240
Right, yeah.

643
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,720
Warp speed, Mr Paulo. Yep, one sec.

644
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,880
I bet this reminds you
of the fjords, doesn't it?

645
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,600
No.

646
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,600
OK, here we go! Come on!

647
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,400
Right, ready? Three, two, one!

648
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,520
Oh!

649
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:16,240
Oh, my God, not again!
No! mate, you all right?

650
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,000
Not again! Robin, sit down!

651
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,680
Sit down, please!
Stop rocking the boat! Robin!

652
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,080
SHE VOMITS

653
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,120
Eurgh, Rach, stop vomming!

654
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,760
Stop vomming, Rach!

655
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,200
Oh, that's...

656
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,400
SHE LAUGHS, PAUL MOANS

657
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,880
That's so gross.

658
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,120
Argh, get out of there!

659
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,760
I did say we should chuck it.

660
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,280
Definitely. Get it in the skip.

661
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,360
I'll use my bod.
Here, Mum. Oh...

662
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,120
Oh, thank you.

663
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,200
Ooh...

664
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,840
What are you smiling about?

665
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,160
Just...I'm quite happy
to be home, actually.

666
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Mm.

667
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,200
Eurgh, you stink of vomit, Mum.

668
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,800
Here you go, love.

669
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,880
Thanks, Mum.

670
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,320
Mm, you're the best.

671
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,800
You know...

672
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:19,160
..if you wanted to,
you'd be welcome to move in with us

673
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,360
while you're looking for
somewhere else.

674
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,120
Really? Yeah.

675
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,640
Let's do something nice
for you for a change.

676
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,760
Oh...
Watch out for the buoy, Rach. Rach!

677
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,000
Aah, oh! Oh, Mum!

678
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,080
You all right?
Come on, come on get up.

679
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,960
Would that be all right with Rachel?

680
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,000
Yeah, definitely.

681
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,240
Probably.

682
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,120
But, er, we'd love you to move in
with us, Mum, of course we would.

683
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,360
Oh, but…

684
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,440
What is it?

685
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,560
Oh... I think the water's
blocked my ear again. Aww.

686
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,880
Oh, no way,
Granny kept the gnome of Dad!

687
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:55,920
Really?

688
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,040
It's not "of" me. Mum, I thought you
said you were going to bin that?

689
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,000
Well, Amy said she wanted it.

690
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,560
Exactly, it's mine.

691
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,320
Thanks, Granny. No Amy, Amy!

692
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,520
That's going in the skip!

693
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:06,960
No! Amy! No!

694
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,160
Amy, please!

695
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,480
It's mine! No!
Go on! Amy! Sam! Seize her!

696
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,040
It's mine! Sam!

697
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:15,600


698
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,480


699
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:25,040


700
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:28,880


701
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:34,560


702
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:38,320


703
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:43,960


704
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,880


705
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:53,160


706
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,520